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~ Funny Humorous Quotes ~

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~ Funny Humorous Quotes - Is Laughter A Medicine? ~



The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't  ~ Douglas Adams

The superfluous, a very necessary thing ~ Voltaire
 
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us ~ Bill Watterson

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat ~ Lily Tomlin

The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind - a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house ~ Woody Allen

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love ~ Joe E. Lewis
 
The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper ~ Bertrand Russell

There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory ~ Josh Billings
 
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments ~ Chris Rock

There are truths of which I have an inkling, but of most I have only a pencilling ~ Robert Brault



~ Funny Humorous Quotes - Is Laughter A Medicine? ~



There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full ~ Henry A. Kissinger

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot ~ Steven Wright

There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together ~ Josh Billings

There's no such thing as fun for the whole family ~ Jerry Seinfeld

There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it ~ Dennis Miller
 
This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... it's dirty ~ Mitch Hedberg
 
To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior"  ~ Rita Rudner
 
Today is the last day of some of your life ~ Anonymous

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die ~ Mel Brooks

Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins you can't imagine the smell ~ Robert Byrne



~ Funny Humorous Quotes - Is Laughter A Medicine? ~



Weather forecast for tonight: dark ~ George Carlin
 
We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect ~ Alanis Morissette

Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone? ~ James Thurber
 
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? ~ W. Clement Stone

When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her ~ Sacha Guitry

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I’ve never tried before ~ Mae West

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always ~ Rita Rudner
 
When I go to a bar, I don't go looking for a girl who knows the capital of Maine ~ David Brenner
 
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick ~ George Burns

When somebody tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football ~ Anonymous



~ Funny Humorous Quotes - Is Laughter A Medicine? ~


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Definition of Funny / Humorous...Wikipedia

Definition of Funny / Humorous...The Free Dictionary

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