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~ Funny Humorous Quotes ~

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~ Funny Humorous Quotes - Is Laughter A Medicine? ~



Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you ~ Joey Adams
 
Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too ~ Anton Checkov

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day ~ Jay Leno

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia ~ Charles Schulz

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing ~ Robert Benchley

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together ~ Carl Zwanzig

Electricity is really just organized lightning ~ George Carlin

Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix? ~ Elayne Boosler

Every cloud has its silver lining but it is sometimes a little difficult to get it to the mint ~ Don Marquis

Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got ~ Josh Billings



~ Funny Humorous Quotes - Is Laughter A Medicine? ~



Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands ~ Jerry Lewis
 
Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them ~ P. J. O'Rourke
 
Everything in life is somewhere else, and you get there in a car ~ E. B. White
 
Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease ~ Bill Maher

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name ~ Milton Berle

Fashions have done more harm than revolutions ~ Victor Hugo

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope ~ Bill Cosby
 
Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed ~ Josh Billings

Food is an important part of a balanced diet ~ Fran Lebowitz

Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups ~ Cathy Guisewite



~ Funny Humorous Quotes - Is Laughter A Medicine? ~



Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please ~ Mark Twain

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company ~ Mark Twain
 
God did not intend religion to be an exercise club ~ Naguib Mahfouz
 
God endowed us with 2 ears – apparently more for hearing then listening – Michael Sage

God invented humour so He could laugh at us ~ Michael Sage

Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving ~ Erma Bombeck
 
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city ~ George Burns

Have enough sense to know, ahead of time, when your skills will not extend to wallpapering ~ Marilyn vos Savant
 
He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house ~ Zsa Zsa Gabor

He who believes that the past cannot be changed has not yet written his memoirs ~ Torvald Gahlin



~ Funny Humorous Quotes - Is Laughter A Medicine? ~


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Definition of Funny / Humorous...Wikipedia

Definition of Funny / Humorous...The Free Dictionary

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