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~ Funny Humorous Quotes ~

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~ Funny Humorous Quotes - Is Laughter A Medicine? ~



I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well ~ Robert Benchley
 
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her ~ Rodney Dangerfield

I intend to live forever. So far, so good ~ Steven Wright

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio ~ Joan Rivers

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back ~ Fred Allen

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks ~ Steve Martin
 
I like children – fried ~ W.C. Fields

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me ~ Fred Allen
 
I like marriage. The idea ~ Toni Morrison
 
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap ~ Rodney Dangerfield



~ Funny Humorous Quotes - Is Laughter A Medicine? ~



I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known ~ Walt Disney

I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money ~ Bob Hope

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it ~ W. C. Fields
 
I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do ~ Will Rogers

I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television ~ Gore Vidal

I never said most of the things I said ~ Yogi Berra

I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back ~ Richard Lewis

I rant, therefore I am ~ Dennis Miller

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste ~ David Bissonette

I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights ~ Jay London



~ Funny Humorous Quotes - Is Laughter A Medicine? ~



I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member ~ Groucho Marx

I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church ~ Paul Lynde

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with Guess on it. I said, Thyroid problem? ~ Arnold Schwarzenegger
 
I spent a year in that town, one Sunday ~ George Burns
 
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph ~ Shirley Temple

I think serial monogamy says it all ~ Tracey Ullman

I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once ~ Jennifer Unlimited

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted ~ Mae West

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes ~ Anonymous

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass ~ David Lee Roth



~ Funny Humorous Quotes - Is Laughter A Medicine? ~


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Definition of Funny / Humorous...Wikipedia

Definition of Funny / Humorous...The Free Dictionary

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