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~ Woody Allen Quotes ~

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~ Woody Allen Quotes ~

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If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job ~ Woody Allen

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank ~ Woody Allen

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans ~ Woody Allen

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative ~ Woody Allen

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown ~ Woody Allen

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch ~ Woody Allen

In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows ~ Woody Allen

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker ~ Woody Allen

Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought-- particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things ~ Woody Allen

It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune ~ Woody Allen

~ Woody Allen Quotes ~

It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off ~ Woody Allen

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more ~ Woody Allen

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look ~ Woody Allen

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television ~ Woody Allen

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable ~ Woody Allen

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon ~ Woody Allen

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun ~ Woody Allen

Marriage is the death of hope ~ Woody Allen

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons ~ Woody Allen

More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly ~ Woody Allen

~ Woody Allen Quotes ~

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all ~ Woody Allen

My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers ~ Woody Allen

My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker ~ Woody Allen

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else ~ Woody Allen

Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends ~ Woody Allen

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down ~ Woody Allen

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies ~ Woody Allen

Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to make it into a concept, and later turn it into an idea ~ Woody Allen

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up ~ Woody Allen

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good ~ Woody Allen

~ Woody Allen Quotes ~

Woody Allen Biography.....Wikipedia

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